They say there isn’t a journey that doesn’t change you some.
Ben Murdoch-Masila is living proof.
Born in Auckland to a Tongan father and red-headed mother, hard lessons constantly came the way of young Ben.
The family settled in Ōtāhuhu – a suburb of southeast Auckland which would decidedly shape the man that Ben would become.
Many of those close to him fell victim to the pervasive nature of gang culture and the consequences it spawned.
“You had to be tough in that area to grow up,” he said.
I wouldn’t be the person I am today without spending time there and growing up in that kind of environment.
Rugby league became an outlet for the towering youngster who, alongside future Tongan teammate Jason Taumalolo, helped turn the Ōtāhuhu Leopards into a powerhouse.
“I remember my first game, I actually ran the other way and scored on the other side,” he laughed.
“After that, I started scoring like five or so tries a game and Jase was pretty much the same size as he is now.”
His on-field dominance during his junior days were made possible by the work put in by his mother whose fierce love for her children helped push them to greater heights.
“She was always pretty much the boss. Dad was in and out of the family when we were younger,” he said.
“Mum was always there. She always took care of us and did all the hard work and drove me to games… I think Mum grew up with Dad’s family, so she kind of picked up on how Islanders go about things. She was basically half-Tongan. Mum was our rock.”
“Dad was very supportive in everything I did. But I think him being a proud Tongan man, he had a subtle way of showing praise. I think this was to keep me grounded and humble, something common amongst Pasifika culture."
Ben made the move across the Tasman to further his football journey as a teenager with the Wests Tigers enrolling him at Keebra Park High School – a famous rugby league factory on the Gold Coast.
The move sparked a moment of clarity for Ben as he found himself at a personal crossroads.
I was just going through the motions. I was playing on Saturday and then going out drinking and stuff like that where I was mixed up with a few gangs.
“I wasn’t taking it serious until that moment… Me and Isaac Liu came over at the same time and we stayed in the homestead together. We just stuck together. Being at Keebra Park, there was always a lot of Islanders, so we made friends pretty quickly. My second year is when I actually met my wife. I moved in with her and we’ve been together ever since.”
Ben’s talent was apparent early on and, in 2010, he made the transition into the Wests Tigers’ NYC squad.
His NRL debut came later that year with a 19-year-old Ben called up for the Wests Tigers’ 100-minute, qualifying final epic against the Roosters at the SFS.
He would flourish as a key contributor for the Wests Tigers over the coming years but, as his rugby league career began to blossom, he was faced with his toughest battle yet away from the paddock.
“One of my best mates took his own life. That was pretty shit. That was... That was hard, yeah,” he said.
Ben met Mosese Fotuaika at Acacia Ridge – a park in Brisbane – whilst they were students at Keebra Park and would share the field with him at Toyota Cup level.
Mosese passed away on February 28, 2013.
Ben and his now-wife Roxy welcomed their first baby into the world shortly after – a daughter named Acacia-Rose.
“When people go through the depression, they don’t even know. I probably just found my own ways to deal with things. It was hard. I’ve said it to a few people that I even tried to take my life a couple of times. I’m grateful that I didn’t,” he said.
Having my daughter was probably the biggest thing that helped me out of it.
In addition to depression, a grieving Ben developed compulsive counting – a condition linked to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
“I developed stuff I didn’t know I was doing when I was going through that,” he said.
“I used to count when I was doing things. Like, I’d have to get to a certain number before I had to move on, or lock things a certain number of times… I couldn’t go home until I went to Mosese’ house and stayed there for a bit until I locked in a photo or memory of him. Only then could I go home and continue home life, but I didn’t really realise that until later on.”
It was the strength of partner Roxy who, despite dealing with her own grief, helped slow Ben’s spiral.
“I was dulling everything with alcohol and drugs. I’m not ashamed to admit that. I can’t really remember my time at the Wests Tigers. I think I kind of blocked that out,” he said.
“She knew him as well, and she was a lifeline… Actually, leaving for England probably helped the most. It was just me, my wife, my daughter. We grew up quite a lot over there, because it was just us.”
The family spent five years in the north of England where Ben grew into a much-loved import and Roxy kicked off a footballing journey of her own.
Ben ended up back in the NRL in 2021 with the Warriors and, the following year, took home the club’s Clubman of the Year Award alongside Bunty Afoa.
His whirlwind rugby league odyssey delivered him to Wollongong in 2023.
“The Dragons were a club when I was younger that I never thought I’d end up at. Maybe because they knocked us out in 2010 to make the Grand Final. That was actually my second game against in the NRL and they won, so that would have been a 12-year grudge,” he chuckled.
“But, if an opportunity comes knocking at your door, don’t leave it until the last minute – take it with both hands.”
Just a few months ago, Ben left the club’s Awards Night with the Club Person of the Year Trophy under his arm.
From poker nights to fishing trips, Ben’s fingerprints are all over the playing group’s chemistry-building initiatives.
It’s the ‘grateful’ sessions – an initiative born during his Covid-fraught time with the Warriors – however which mean the most to the veteran big man.
“It was just something I started when I was at the Warriors. When we were stuck together during Covid, I had to really look after the younger boys. I kind of thought I’d bring it here, because I can see a bit of similar stuff with the young guys. I just thought, ‘let’s open these boys up’,” he said.
“I’ll try and get it done at the start of the week because I’ll ask them at the end if there’s anything they want to work on during the week. If I can put it in their minds at the start of the week, it will help drive them… I know that these boys wouldn’t say boo, so I try to help them just open up. I don’t force them to come in. I just flick it into our group chats, and if you’re available, come in.”
Ben’s standing among his teammates has grown over time with the titles of ‘Uncle’ and ‘Koro’ – a Māori term of respect reserved for older men – having been bestowed upon the club’s oldest player.
His ability to command respect stems back to his youth in South Auckland and the lessons he learnt on resilience, vigilance, and adaptability.
“If I could survive that, I could survive anything. If I didn’t have footy, I would probably be in jail or dead,” he said.
“I’m just grateful I got out of it. Even my mates back in South Auckland, they’re proud of what I’ve done. They’ve always flicking me messages saying that I’ve made a good life for myself and my family... Even now for the younger boys, I always offer myself. I know the boys go out for a couple of drinks, and I always say like, ‘if you need an Uber, just give me a call and I’ll pick you boys up’.”
Dragons head coach Shane Flanagan understands better than most the role that Ben plays at the club and the esteem in which his teammates and staff members hold him in.
Spend a couple days around here and you’ll see how important he is to our club.
“It’s clear that the younger boys look up to him and learn a lot off him, but what stands out to me is how highly regarded he is among our senior players. He commands respect because he makes himself available for people... His ability as a leader and connector will serve him well as he transitions into life after football, I’m certain of that,” continued Flanagan.
With the end of Ben’s footballing career nearing, focus is beginning to shift for the 16-time Tongan international.
“The boys are always coming up now asking me advice on things on the field or even away from footy,” he said.
“If I could still do that after footy, I’d enjoy it. I wouldn’t mind staying in the environment too, to help me transition away from the playing days… I want to look after everyone. I’m pretty keen to stay in this space. I just want boys being comfortable in their own skin and being able to say what’s on their mind when it’s there.”
Ben, who is currently rehabbing a foot injury suffered in July, will remain with the Dragons on a development contract for the 2025 season.
He will continue to play an integral role for the club off the field in a leadership and cultural capacity.
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